YOSSARIAN BEFRIENDS HIS ENEMIES!!!

After back from my travel in Rome, I returned back to our camp, where I found myself sitting in front of Colonel Cathcart's desk. After sitting down, Colonel Cathcart and Colonel Korn said one of the wondrous statements that I had ever heard: "We're sending you home." noticing that it was probably too good to be true. There had to be a catch: Catch-22, which they stated that there was. It would be unfair to let Yossarian leave for refusing to fly missions and keep the other men stuck in the camp. Cathcart then stated of how much he would like to tie me up and throw me off aboard a plane every mission. I blamed them for raising the amount of missions needed to complete service, while they blamed me for refusing to fly them. But to stop the dispute, the colonels formed a deal that would allow me to go home: If I liked and befriended the colonels, they would send me home, make me a hero, make me a rich man, even have parades in my honor. They would tell the press on how brave and valiant I was and make me idolized by the public. They said that i could either befriend them and go home or face a court martial. Opting for the best, I chose to befriend them although I knew it wouldn't be that easy. We started treating each other like best buds. But when I left, I saluted a familiar looking private, who saluted me and lunged forward to stab me. It was Nately's girlfriend, who was mad at me for letting Nately die and wanted to kill me. As I tried to run away, she stabbed me and I fell to the floor, unconscious. Luckily, my two new best friends, Cathcart and Korn, frightened away Nately's girlfriend and prevented he from killing me.

Written by Captain Yossarian